I think we need to separate...

Last night my husband looked at me with a completely straight face and said,

"I think we should have separate blankets."

Now... if you've been married for any length of time, you know there are certain conversations that make you stop what you're doing. This was one of them.

"Separate blankets!?" I laughed because I genuinely thought he was joking.

He was not.

In fact, he had already ordered himself a temperature-controlled blanket on Amazon.

Not because we suddenly have no AC or because our furnace broke, but apparently because he's married to me.

We've reached the stage of marriage where we require individualized climate control.

Now, before everyone immediately takes his side, I'd like the opportunity to present my defense:

A few nights ago, I was sleeping under three blankets.

Before you judge me, I was freezing. Not "I'm a little chilly." No. I'm talking about the kind of cold where you convince yourself your toes are mere moments away from falling off. The kind of cold where one blanket feels decorative, two feels reasonable, and somehow three still doesn't seem like enough. The kind where you think "maybe I should have my iron checked."

Meanwhile, my husband had...nothing. Not because I stole his blanket, but because he was HOT.

... HOW.

How is he over there au-natural while I am clinging to life and seconds away from turning into a glacier.

Apparently we sleep in two entirely different climates despite occupying the same king-sized mattress.

I'm surviving a Midwestern January, and he's vacationing somewhere near the equator.

According to him, he was perfectly comfortable.

I honestly don't know which part is crazier. The fact that I needed three blankets or that he voluntarily slept with none. Most people would have nudged their spouse, or borrowed a blanket, or started a tiny marital tug-of-war.

But not my husband. He simply was gathering evidence. Then he quietly went on Amazon and purchased an IMPENETRABLE WALL.

He didn't come to me with a complaint, he came to me with a solution.

"I ordered a cooling blanket."

Excuse me? You did what!? This wasn't even a discussion. This was a calculated implementation.

And now he's talking about separate blankets like it's the obvious next step.

I don't know why, but emotionally, separate blankets feel significant.

You start dating by stealing each other's hoodies. Then you get married and proudly share one comforter. Years later you're standing in the kitchen discussing "individualized sleep systems" like you're negotiating trade agreements.

No one tells you that's what marriage eventually becomes.

Honestly though, maybe this is what love looks like after almost 10 years together.

Maybe romance isn't proving your commitment by waking up six times because one person is freezing and the other feels like they're sleeping inside a volcano. Maybe romance is looking at the person you've promised your life to and thinking, "You know what? I love you enough to let you sleep at whatever temperature your tiny little heart desires."

I still think separate blankets sound weird... I don't like it.

And I still reserve the right to crawl under his if mine isn't warm enough...

And let's be honest, this whole conversation assumes our children will not end up in our bed at an offensively early time in the morning.

Somehow two small children can take over a king-sized bed, steal every blanket in the house, and leave both parents clinging to approximately six inches of mattress.

Maybe we don't need separate blankets.

Maybe we just need to accept that neither of us has slept well since 2019.

But forreal... the blanket he ordered? I am just going to steal it anyway!

xoxo

Madi