Therapy is going to be expensive.

Baby monitors have become shockingly controversial. They used to just be like a one-sided walkie talkie, so you could hear if your baby was crying or making noises that sounded like Godzilla smashing cars, but you couldn't actually SEE the destruction of property that was taking place. Now there are all kinds - including ones that connect to Wifi with video cameras. Convenient - yes. Creepy - also yes (because we live in a seriously scary world and h@ckers can get into anything.) Anyway...

My younger kiddo T has a lot of extra needs. He is incredibly sensitive and sweet, but also has a lot of behaviors and extreme emotions and you could try to diagnose him all day - but bottom line is he is a lovable toddler dragon and we have to keep a (VERY) close eye on him. Every moment of every day.

The other night I was putting him to bed, and he was fighting it. It's light outside because it's summer, he was overtired, he wasn't tired, he was too warm, he was too cold, his stuffy wasn't in his arm exactly the way he wanted it, etc. - honestly who the hell knows. Point is, it was a hard bedtime. He kept sitting up, standing up, turning on his light, etc. I was in the middle of doing something that couldn't wait, and I heard this nonsense. So I looked at the monitor camera on my phone and told him (NICELY. I SWEAR I SAID IT NICELY) to lie back down....

That.

child.

DROPPED. like a sack of potatoes. He probably did not move a singular inch for the rest of the night... When my husband got him up in the morning, he started pointing at the monitor and babbling incoherently and adamantly. My husband told him "Yeah, you heard Mama said to lie down, huh?"

Fast forward to bedtime the next night. I am doing his routine, all the things, going fine, and when I put this kid in his bed he gives the most dramatic side eye I have ever seen in my life. Like he had been prepping for this kind of attitude since the day he exited my body. I thought to myself "okay time to undo whatever fear you've instilled in this poor little guy." And I casually and cheerfully said "Yeah! That was mama in the camera! Mama said to lie down because you weren't in bed. Did you hear Mama talking?" This child takes the blanket and rips it over his face so fast "NOOOOOO!" ..... Well crap. I again try soothing. I get one eye poking out and staring at the camera like its going to jump off the wall. Alright. Let's not make a big deal, right?

WRONG. Every bedtime now TO THIS DAY he gives the (now unplugged) camera the world's most devious side-eye, and pulls the blanket up to where only one nostril, and one eye are visible. I had no idea telling my toddler to lie down would cause this amount of fear... So definitely not a parenting win there.

Piece of advice: Don't talk to your child on the monitor. It will scar them for the rest of their little lives. (No but really, I really feel badly!)

xoxo

Madi